Wow Wow Wubbzy Goes Trick-or-Treating

What was once per week, now once per month...

Unfortunately, I've posted very few times in the last several months. I have no excuse, other than laziness. Writing turned into a chore so I just didn't do it (the way I see it, my chore list is fully booked!). Here are some highlights I won't further delve into, but deserve to be mentioned:

*My brother-in-law is engaged to a great girl!

*My best friend moved into her own place after almost 2 years of working/saving/planning her way out of her mom's house - very happy for her!

*Husband is doing exceptionally well at his job - takes the Chief exam in January - fingers crossed!

*We celebrated Daughter's 2nd birthday and my 25th in October

The things I will further go into - our pregnancy and a moderately significant health issue for Daughter, and my faith. Firstly, this pregnancy has been just as great as the first. First trimester flew by and made it through without any major issues. Second trimester is coming to a close soon (I'm 26 weeks pregnant) and has also gone just as well. Baby Girl is kicking and moving all of the time. Husband as felt her a few times and I like to watch my baby bump bounce around when she's active during the day. As we've got 13 weeks to go before she is born by RCS (Repeat C-Section) I've been planning/making lists/organizing as much as possible around me. By a happy accident, Husband found out her gender at a Babies R Us last week. I had known since our 20 week ultrasound but had vowed to make it a surprise for him on her birth day. Unfortunately, I managed to let the cat out of the bag when we were leisurely looking at the shoe aisle - I spied some size 1 gold shoes with bows and said out loud "Wonder how much these are?" - Husband, he's a smart cookie, knew I'd just given away the secret I'd been trying to save for him. He wasn't upset in the least, I cried. Anyway, now that he knows, he's seen a few of the baby clothing items I picked up (matching dresses for Big & Little for one) and we've talked about her in gender identifying pronouns since then. It makes it seem more real for him to know...but I'm still disappointed in myself for not keeping better control of my mouth! Anyway, all testing I've been through so far has turned out normal & next week will be time for the glucose test so I'm praying I pass that with flying colors! We're happy and in disbelief that God is blessing us again with a little miracle. No person, no matter how good, could ever deserve the joy & love that a child creates - yet He knows that this is the one blessing, the blessing, that can complete a person, a family, and a life. He is Great.

Our first born, has been through a little bit of stress (and so have we) since her 2 year check up in October. I noticed over the last several months that her left arm looked bowed from her elbow to her wrist. Upon mentioning this to her doctor, he had it x-rayed. The x-rays came back with an inconclusive diagnosis of a deformity in her radius. We took her to an orthopedic doctor 10 days ago where he looked at the x-rays and diagnosed her with Fibrous Dysplasia. It could be as minor/mild as one fibrous bone mass that causes minimal pain and won't need correction or it could be as major/all-encompassing as several bones, several masses, endocrine disorders, and a lifetime spent on medications and having corrective procedures performed. She had a skeletal survey set of x-rays done which was the most traumatizing thing any one of us has been through in our parent-child relationship. She was hysterical. I couldn't be in the room. Husband was doing everything he could to situate and comfort her and when it wasn't enough to calm her down, I think it started to shut him down. At one point I stopped the session and went in to hold her - I genuinely thought she'd vomit if she didn't get some air in her lungs and calm down. We both knew she was in no pain. But she was scared. She was scared, and to her, no one was helping her not be scared. I hope that we don't ever have to go through that process again. The x-rays showed no other masses. Now we're waiting. We could be waiting until she's a teenager for other problems to arise (or for nothing to change at all, which is the nature of this type of genetic mutation). Thankfully, it isn't hereditary and she doesn't have to be concerned that she'll pass it to her children nor do we need to be concerned that our others will have it. She's in no pain right now, and I pray that it stays that way.

Finally, but possibly, most importantly - I've had a sort of "new beginning" in my faith journey. As I may have mentioned before, I became a Catholic in 2007. It was something I feel God has always called me to do and since joining the Church, I've wrestled with my decision. I've questioned my choice because of how it has affected the spiritual dynamic in my marriage and how it will affect my husband's relationship with our [Catholic] children if he chooses not to join the Church. I've questioned whether or not it is something I even know how to do - to go from being a Protestant, that, for me, had few rigorous guidelines for living a Christian life to a faith that has 2 millennia of doctrine to tell me how to live according to Jesus' ways...it's been a struggle to find my place. For the past year we've not been attending church. I don't feel this is a reflection of my belief in the Lord or in my relationship with Jesus. I feel it is a combination of moving away from the only Catholic church I've known to search for a new one, a lazy attitude about how important it is to be in Church weekly, and the confusion I've felt about practices that are still foreign to me (namely Reconciliation or Confession). If I'm going to lay it all on the line here and be honest - the last, Reconciliation, is really the one I've had the hardest time with. I actually agree with the practice, but I don't know how to...do it. I've been through Reconciliation once, with my first priest, who I had a good relationship with and whom I trusted. I am now in a situation where I have to seek out a priest who doesn't know me, tell him I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do or say, and then tell him my deepest darkest sins. It's a little...intimidating. It's so intimidating, in fact, that I am weekly trying to work up the courage to go...and in my humanly failings, haven't yet been. I am praying this week is it for me, no excuses, to finally have some peace. Yesterday we attended a local church for the 2nd time and registered as parishioners. We want our second daughter to be baptized as we believe in Christ and his saving ways(and don't want our non-church going ways to inhibit that). We are getting down to the wire on finding a church and becoming a part of it. So, we did it. We jumped in. Daughter went to the nursery and had a great time. Husband and I went through a wonderful mass together that gave me peace with some issues I'd been struggling with - let alone time to renew our faith together without distraction of a little one. It all couldn't have been better timing. I had told Husband on Saturday night that I had never so badly wanted a sit-down conversation with God in all my life - and I opened my missal to the scripture readings for the 33rd Sunday in Ordinary Time - Cycle B - and there was my favorite Bible verse, Jeremiah 29:11, and readings addressing the exact issues I'd been wrestling with. I don't know that God has ever so instantaneously answered a plea of mine. The Homily gave me a perspective on life, my own, and the collective life of Mankind, that I'd never really pondered before. I will say, it wasn't a quick fix, my fears and anxieties haven't been completely relieved- but I know now that those fears and anxieties are not of God but of my own mind. Conquering them will come from Him and I am working to do just that.

Peace be with you.

K