That's You & Me, Babe

A Summer of Love

The last few months have been particularly chaotic but somehow still managed to be enjoyable. The girls and I traveled to Indiana for a 3 week stint in my & Husband's hometown. Husband drove down every weekend for weddings of friends and one special one, the wedding of his brother. We had a good time reliving the moment we recited our vows to one another and experienced many new moments of wedded bliss of our own. June 5th was our 6th anniversary, and 3 duty stations, 2 kids, and many learning experiences later, here we are. Still going, stronger than ever after living through moments that have brought us to our knees. It is only now, 6 years into our marriage, nearly 10 into our relationship that I'm even beginning to fathom what it means to join your life with another. I'm realizing that I have a pinhead's worth of knowledge in this skull of mine. In the moments where I feel Husband and I have had an epiphany, I am thinking more of what I still do not know than of what I just discovered. Life is certainly about loving and losing- losing yourself in God and each other, and loving so much, so hard, that it hurts. It will hurt. To love so much will mean pain, no one says so on your wedding day, it's all rainbows and sunshine then. Then again, statistically speaking, who would tell you? Your divorced parents? Your bachelor uncles? Your virginal friends? All dear to you but what could they offer up? Then, I have to say, so what if they could have told you, warned you, advised you? It would have been a drop in the bucket full of advice from well meaning loved ones. This, this substance that makes up love and a life together, is had on a personal & intimate level and even then, you just didn't realize how deep down it existed- the seam welded between you and your spouse. After searching for more, for better, for something else within a relationship, you begin to realize, that if you're doing it right, you won't be able to tell where one of you begins and the other ends. In moments of joy and goodness, that seam between you nearly evaporates, both existing so soundly together. In times of struggle and rebellion, the strength of that seam is tried and tested and all but ripped apart.

For better or for worse - a life together, we have chosen. And so did the friends and family that married over the summer. And knowing what little, what nearly insignificant amount of knowledge I've gained from my own matrimonial state, I say to them: Ride out the bad without blinders and stand in awe of what another human being can cause you to feel. Cling to the fact that you must love as deeply as you hurt, because if you did not, it couldn't hurt so much. Enjoy every second of the good realizing no one can guarantee any of the moments we have as happiness is not a promise but a state you work for every day. And finally, one I know both Husband and I didn't realize until this summer of love: it will be work, every day will be work, but if it is struggle, you're doing it wrong.

Peace & Love