Addressing Number 2 (of my previous post, of course!)

There are these two women in my life. My bests, my BFFs, my girls. We've known each other for a few years now, since 2006, actually, but it feels like a lifetime. We all worked for the same neurotic eye doctor (and I say that lovingly, sort of) at one point. Almost since day one we hit it off with one another. That work relationship developed into more over time, as slowly, all but one of us had to step down from the positions we held in that office and move on to other career choices. In the years we've known each other we've been there for one another through our successes and failures. On our worst days we have had someone to cry with and on our best, well, gut busting laughter. Through husband's deployments, relationships being laid to rest, big moves, new jobs, and babies, we have been 10 minutes away from one another and a phone call away but always so close. These two ladies may not understand what a memory they gave me by being there the day our first daughter was born, sisters where I had none before. From hilarious moments - "Doesn't a baby breath through its skin?" to ones of a more tender nature - "She's a peach, a perfect little peach." these wonderful beings that have crossed my path have given me family when I had none close and friends when I needed to get away from it all. We have experienced the many facets of life together (we have matching tattoos, for goodness' sake) and been each other's person more than a few times. Even in this description of them, I cannot do justice to the memories we have made together (partly because I can't remember my life, which is something they don't understand but accept). Simply put, they've made my life happier, fuller, and have allowed me to just be me. Not wife. Not mother. Not sister, daughter, or other. Just me. It is a gift I feel we've given each other from the beginning but something was lost between them. Something neither can pinpoint precisely though both have tried and tried to understand it and change it. Distance? Time? Changing individuals? I can't help them, and I feel like I'm failing them. My heart is breaking with them and for them. This is all we have. This one and only existence. This one and only moment. None of us know if we will be here in 30 seconds let alone 30 years. I could not picture either of them out of my life. I couldn't imagine not knowing them. I fear they have both done that to each other and for the moment have convinced themselves that it isn't sad anymore, it just is.

I am an even person for them. A neutral. But in all truthfulness I could just take them both by the ear and bang their heads together and scream "What are you doing?!" "Stop this nonsense!" "You love each other whether or not you care to admit it, whether or not you care to show it, whether or not you even realized it until now!" It is all we have, the people around us. Having them in our lives may be one of the few things we have control over, the few things we have a choice about, and the only one who can separate us is the Almighty Himself. In the mean time I will pray and wait and listen. I hope they do the same.