On Family

My husband and daughter, and the child we're expecting - they are the drive to get out of bed, to say my prayers, to smile a little more, they are my motivation, comfort, and peace. Everyone in my life has changed, some beyond recognition, some only the smallest amount - but my family, my constants, have never changed at a pace I cannot appreciate. Husband is a simple man in his ways but an extraordinary man in his intelligence. I have always felt safe with him in many ways but one I am just beginning to understand is the safety I feel because he knows so much about all of the things I know so little of. In his presence I feel like we could conquer the world because we complement each other intellectually. He humbly says, "thank you" when I tell him these things but if you've ever gotten to know him, truly, you know that he is unique in his abilities. I hope that some day he can recognize that in himself if only so he never feels inadequate.

Our daughter is my joy. I don't think I knew happiness before she was here and I feel that except a few particular moments in my life, I have been and will always be, happy. My sincere elation at being her mother, at being in her life at all, overwhelms me sometimes. Already almost 2 years have passed since she was born and every now and then I look at her and no longer see a baby but a quite grown-up toddler with an amazing mind of her own. I am in awe of the gift of children. No human being could ever deserve to have one, let alone many, but God knows how they can complete a person, a family, complete that picture of bliss. I know that the day will come all too soon when I look at her and she will be out the door to a friend's house, picking up the car keys, graduating high school, walking down the aisle...and as all parents promise me, I'll still see that cherubic little face of a babe and the bittersweet-ness that is the cycle of life in our world will be ever present.

And for the little one we are so anxiously waiting on, the unspoken promises I am making to him or her are reflected in all of the promises I am willing to make to God just to see his or her face. Knowing I have no right to ask of such a gift from Him but somehow still knowing that He must delight in the giving of children as much as we delight in the receiving, it gives me perspective when my mind could just spin out of control. In 6 more months, when I've wondered where the time has gone, knowing it will just keep going, as that is the only thing in its nature to do, I'll be wondering how I, unimportant in the scheme of the world, but the most important to Him, as we all are, I will wonder how it was written in to my life to be blessed so abundantly.

If I review the parts and bits of my growing up and wonder how I came to be the person I feel that I am, it isn't such a great mystery to me that I should love my family above all else and make sure that they know it. I have many reasons to resent a certain person or persons in my life but I don't. I love them. I cherish them. And I forgive them, if that is what they need from me. I am sad for them, heartbroken really. Knowing the happiness they seek and will never find passed them by when they gave up the two gifts from God that would have brought more joy than any one person should have, if only they knew it was a gift and not a hardship. But, I digress-

Mothers, Fathers, love your children. Love each other. It is the only task that God gives us that matters more than any other - it is the hardest, as it should be. In overcoming each difficulty as a parent or as a spouse, we grow a little more in our strength of character and our ability to love unconditionally. It is a contagious phenomenon - let it spread like wildfire.