Too much of a good thing is a....

So I had this dream about Michael Weston (the main character on Burn Notice). We were getting shot at, I was quickly learning how to use a semi-automatic and we were running from the Bad Guys. Mr. Weston had suffered a leg injury so I was dragging him as fast as I could to the train station where we were receiving secret messages from operatives on our side, via the schedule monitor. I don't know if we made it. It was rough.

Last night I was battling wits with a genie who was rather...mischievous. We were constantly changing shape, location, transportation mode (at one point I turned myself into a fly, then a fish, then I managed to dissolve so that I could pass through the metal grates that shop owners pull down over there doors when they're closing up). I believe this battle was taking place in Japan as I recall a Pagoda like structure coming into play at some point. The genie was doing his best to outwit me. I don't know who won that one either.

When I was in high school, I had a dream about God and the devil. In the dream, I was standing in the street of my home town at Main & Jefferson. God locked the devil in a huge black box and blew it up...I never saw either of them, only knew that was what was taking place. At least I know who won that one.

I dream every single night and usually, they make little sense. The last couple of nights have been adventurous to say the least. I have recurring dreams about tornadoes and water that has gators, crocs, or sharks in it. In my waking hours I fear tornadoes and water(ponds, lakes, oceans...not necessarily moving water). Though my fears invade my dreams, I've never been "gotten." I think the fear of tornadoes comes from growing up in the Midwest and hearing those sirens one too many times. The town we live in now tests them once a month. I believe the town my mother used to live in tested them daily at noon. If you've never had the pleasure of hearing them, consider yourself lucky. There have been many times in my life when I've taken shelter in a basement, bathroom, or pole barn (though I doubt it was really much protection). If you've had the unfortunate experience of having your home destroyed by this kind of disaster, my heart goes out to you. I imagine the the fear of water comes from seeing JAWS at too young an age. I frequently watch documentary types of shows on sharks, alligators, crocodiles, and tornadoes. I think it is a sick fascination with things that give me the creeps. Sometimes I have to turn it off and remind myself I'm actually sitting on a couch, in a living room, not a cloud in the sky, not an alligator for several hundred miles at least.

It's funny what you come to fear, either rationally, or irrationally. I would say the above are fairly rational. They will kill you. Irrational fears, like the one I have for bugs...is a little less justifiable. I'm not trying to be a "girl" whatever that means, nor unjustly demonize the little critters. There is something so prehistoric about insects and arachnids that makes them seem...untouchable. Plus...they're ugly. Aesthetically speaking, there are few "bugs" that I would ever want to gaze upon. That makes them even more scary. In college, our floor sponsor was an entomologist at the university. He had access to all kinds of creepy-crawlies. I bravely went to a small gathering where a group of us, maybe 10 of us, got an up-close and personal view of the creatures that gave him a job. He brought giant cockroaches, one of those several-inch-long millipedes, a couple spiders, and I can't recall what else. I cried the entire time. Cried. I was 19 years old and crying at the mere sight of bugs. No one understood what my problem was until two of the giant cockroaches got loose and one of the tarantulas started lifting the lid of his cage. That's right. Lifting. The. Lid. I left at that point, but I tried. I knew then as I know now, none of those creatures will hurt me. That is what makes a fear irrational, there isn't really a possibility of a bad outcome, yet I fear them still.

I don't know if I'll ever overcome any of them. I think bug therapy would actually involve touching them and that isn't something I'm willing to do in order to no longer be afraid. I'll keep my craziness, thank-you-very-much. The other two, well hopefully I will never know the fear of seeing a funnel cloud touch the ground and come straight at my house. If I some day find the courage to go snorkeling, there is a good chance I'll encounter a shark in the wild. If I don't suck water into my snorkel at the sight of one and manage not to drown myself...I just might conquer that one.