On Being a SAHM

For any of you stay-at-home-moms out there, I think you will be able to appreciate this. I love my child and taking care of my home. It is really fulfilling for me. I love that I get to wake up everyday to the cherubic little face of Daughter, stay in my PJs while we play, leisurely clean, ya know, all of that. Of course the tantrums, food messes, diapers, constantly cleaning up the same mess multiple times a day, etc. - now that, that makes me want to pull my hair out. I don't think I'm special here, I think most SAHMs go through feeling like "Will it ever end?" all the while knowing that it won't. The biggest difference between being a SAHM and working outside of your home is this: my job is an on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week kind of job. I don't get to clock-out at 5pm, I don't get a lunch break and two 15 minute smoke breaks. I don't get to leave my day's stresses and worries at work. I have no respite from it all. Now, with that being said, I am not complaining, just stating the facts of the situation. I would not want to change what I do on a daily basis for anything, I truly love it. However, what I don't love is feeling like I'm under appreciated and not only that, having Husband come home and critiquing me on what I am or am not doing correctly, boils my blood. This is where it would cut to that scene in a movie where the main character hauls off and bloodies a nose, just to have them cut back to reality where all they can really do is give a death glare. I don't get paid leave (hell, I don't get paid at all!). Being a SAHM is like working the hardest volunteer job ever but even volunteers get award ceremonies, gratitude, thanks. We pay nannies and maids $15 - 20 per hour for such privileges as taking care of our home and children. But apparently, when it is your own home and children, your own husband can't even see what a great deal he's getting. I don't think that taking a "day off" (hah!) from cleaning the house is ridiculous. I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall when I try to tell him this though (I usually feel like I'm talking to an animated zombie that has no actual brain waves, and that's being kind) because he still continues to say "But if you would just..." "It would be easier for you if..." "I think you should..." and he wastes my time and his with nonsense. All he really needs to say is "How can I help you today, honey?" I feel that is what I do for him. I console him when he is having a hard day. I talk him through his work situations and always push him to stick with it. I tell him how brilliant he is and how much I believe in him. I sincerely want him to feel happy and successful. I want him to find his joy. I want to lift him up some how so that he can reach his full potential. Apparently what he wants for me is a stricter cleaning schedule so that I can continue to do my 24/7 job to his standards. I guess that is all I am to him, a servant and a babysitter. Forget the person, the soul in this body that can only take so much, as long as I'm living and breathing, by God, the dishes better be done. Hear this Husband, I've had ENOUGH - I'M TAKING A MENTAL HEALTH WEEKEND.